Yakov was on the verge of success. He had fulfilled his parents directive to go to the house of Lavan and get married. There he remained righteous despite the challenges, starting the Jewish family, and planning to build the Jewish nation on this strong foundation. But, “Yakov remained alone.” The commentaries explain that as they traveled, Yakov forgot some jugs and went back for them. While he was by himself, “A ‘man’ wrestled with him.” The commentaries explain that this ‘man’ was the angel of his brother Esav. The angel had come to harm Yakov. Interestingly, the Hebrew word that is used for wrestling is “Vayeyoveik” which comes from the word “Ovok” or dust. Normally, the word simply means that as they wrestled dust was flung up. The commentaries, however, observe that over here the deeper connotations of dust are most appropriate. Because what the angel of Esav wanted to do was not just a physical wrestle, but also a spiritual one. He wanted to taint Yakov’s service to G-d with a little dirt. He flung dirt at Yakov, not merely as a byproduct of the wrestling, but as the very motive of his attack. Esav’s angel tried to sully Yakov.

The Kilei Yakor observes that it was because “Yakov remained alone,” that the angel was able to attack and try to taint him. As long as Yakov remained attached and “plugged in” to the group he was not vulnerable. Staying connected and “plugged in” is not just a physical dynamic. It is a mindset. One can live in close proximity to a Jewish community and live as if one was light years from it. Likewise one can be logistically removed from the community and still strive to be well connected. For example, we find that Yakov’s son, Yosef, was in Mitzrayim-a place of immorality- in his prime years of youthfulness. Yet Yosef remained righteous, because in his mind he remained connected to his father’s home. Rashi describes how, at a certain point, Yosef began to get comfortable in Mitzrayim. “He began to do his hair.” At that moment he became vulnerable to the advances of Potifar’s wife. No longer totally focused on his father’s house, he became “Alone” and vulnerable. He was saved when the “image of his father appeared to him,” and in his mindset he reconnected. Despite his physical distance from his father’s home, he was no longer alone.

There is an amazing story about a man who made his way by foot every year to visit the Karliner Rebbe (1738-1771) for the holidays. This man couldn’t afford to pay the fare for normal transportation, so his journey took many days as he traveled through many small and big towns along the way. One day as he checked into a hostel, he was told that the great attraction in this town was a house of immoral entertainment which was located right down the block. His first reaction was, “Who, me?! Of course not! I am a student of the Rebbe of Karlin. I am on the way to visit the Rebbe. I would never do such a thing.” And yet, this is what the other villagers were doing. And it was so tempting… so he began to go.

Suddenly he stopped. “How can I possibly go to such a place?” he wondered to himself. “The Rebbe will take one look at me when I finally get there, and he will know instantly what I did on the way . When I get there, he will know. I cannot do it.” So he stopped.

And yet, it was so very tempting. So he began to consider that instead of going to the Rebbe for the holiday, he would simply stay in this town for the holiday, and then return home. “But what will I tell my wife?” “Okay,” he thought, “So I cannot do it.” But it was so tempting. So he thought that maybe he would just tell his wife that he did go to the Rebbe, and she will never know.

But then he realized, “My friends will come and ask why I wasn’t by the Rebbe this year. And then my wife will know.” So he realized that he could not do this tempting thing. But it was so tempting. So he thought, “Maybe I will just tell my wife that they are lying. I will tell her that I really did go to the Rebbe. I will tell her that they are lying about me because they are not my friends anymore.” Satisfied that he had it all worked out, and all that he would have to do is get some new friends, he began again to walk to the destination with the other villagers.

Suddenly, he stopped. He realized that there was one problem with his plan which he could not resolve. “My friends are really good. They will never let me drop them for other friends.” So he resisted the temptation and continued on his way to the Rebbe.

When the Rebbe found out about what had almost happened and how he was saved, the Rebbe said, “You must remember: The Rebbe couldn’t save you; for that you had a solution. Your wife couldn’t save you; for that you had a solution. But good friends is what saved you!”

Sometimes we find people who claim that they can “do it” on their own. They may seem smart, holy, and charismatic, but if they decline to connect with the Jewish community they are leaving themselves vulnerable, as even Yakov was when he remained alone. Sometimes it may be hard logistically for us to connect. Like Yosef we can remain connected in our mindset as we yearn to reconnect in a more significant way. Lucky is the person who walks with confidence that he is so well connected that his friends will not let him go. Lucky is the person who is so well connected that he is never alone.

With best wishes for a wonderful Shabbos!

Rabbi Mordechai Rhine