Vayigash- Let Them Eat… Breakfast

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

Finally there was reconciliation between Yosef and his brothers. After a separation of 22 years, Yosef sent an invitation to his father, Yakov, to join him in Mitzrayim. With the invitation Yosef sends wagons, so that Yakov would be properly provided for on his journey. The commentaries explain that the last topic that Yakov and Yosef discussed was the mitzvah to accompany and provide for a traveler on his journey. As such, by providing wagons, Yosef was proving that he was really Yosef. “He sent a sign to his father,” Rashi tells us, “This is the topic we were studying when I took leave of you years ago.” Through the sign, Yosef proved his identity and Yakov’s spirit was rejuvenated.

On a deeper level, the sign that Yosef sent was not only proving his identity, but also revealing the secret that enabled him to remain loyal to Yakov’s ideals throughout all those years of separation. Let’s consider what happened during those fateful moments when Yosef took leave of his father so many years before. As the Ba’al Haturim says, after Yakov accompanied Yosef a bit, Yosef said, “Father, you can return now.” And Yakov replied, “No, I cannot return yet. It is a mitzvah to accompany the traveler. It is a mitzvah to walk with you a little more, to show that I care about your wellbeing.”

The Nesivos Shalom explains that the accompaniment which Yakov provided and which Yosef later referenced as a sign was much more than a mitzvah. It was this display of love and concern which enabled Yosef to remain moral during the years of separation. In fact- even beyond the accompaniment- throughout the separation, Hashem did not allow Yakov to be comforted on the loss and to forget Yosef. Yakov was not allowed to be reconciled to the loss so that the spiritual and emotional connection with Yosef should remain strong. Yosef was able to remain the moral Yosef because he was aware of his beloved connection with his father.

The message of Yosef is not just to prove that he is Yosef and is referencing the topic of their last conversation. Yosef is explaining how it came to be that despite the years of separation he is still worthy of being part of Yakov’s illustrious family. “From the way you accompanied me on that fateful journey I knew you loved me. I knew that you would always care for me, so I was able to remain connected.”

I once encountered the memoirs of a gentleman who in his youth had joined a very violent gang. To the great pain of his parents he sank deeper and deeper into the gang hierarchy and culture. One day the gang leader ordered him to “push off” the rival gang leader. It was then that this man said, “I can’t do that.” When pressured to explain why he can’t, he said, “I can’t because I have someone at home who worries about me.”

On a lighter note, I once heard of a young man in yeshiva who always seemed to get the best chavrusos (study partners). His secret was discovered one year when he was seen calling home and saying, “Ok, Mom, you can stop saying Tehillim now. I’m set with chavrusos. Thanks for your help.”

Yosef was saved as Yosef and became known as Yosef Hatzadik because someone worried about him. Yosef knew that this was what enabled him to remain connected despite the distance and time that separated him from his family.

One of the interesting traits of Jewish parents is to strive to send off their children with snacks and provisions. Legendary is the humor of how a mother will try to pack up so much for a child, only to have the child protest that he will only be away for a few hours. One mother explained the practice to me in a most profound way. She said, “Success in parenting is very hard to judge. With everything considered, who knows if I really prepared my child properly for the challenges of life. But at least when they do encounter situations and choices they will remember that there is someone at home who loves them. There is someone at home who worries about them. There was someone at home who wouldn’t let them leave in the morning without having them take something for breakfast.”

Interestingly, the Midrash tells us that after Yakov received Yosef’s message, He sent back a message to prepare a place for the Jewish home, and to establish a yeshiva. The loyalty that was achieved when Yosef was in the exile would have to be duplicated on a national level. Now the entire Jewish family were entering the exile. Yakov would establish the Jewish home and the Yeshiva as places to call “Home”. He hoped that it would be said about all Jewish children as it was said about Yosef, “Yosef is still alive. He is master over Mitzrayim,” and has not allowed Mitzrayim to become master over him.

© 2014 by TEACH613™