Can you do it?

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

Following the remarkable revelation at Sinai, Hashem offered to continue communicating directly with the entire people. It was the chance of a lifetime.But the people turned it down.

Looking back at that moment, Moshe declares, “You turned me into a woman.” What did Moshe mean by that?

When we consider the partnership between parents and a Rebbe, the mother in particular symbolizes the nurturing of the child so that the child has the capacity to do great things. The mother imbues the child with the capacity to love, to trust, and with the confidence to succeed. Once the child has developed these capacities, the Rebbe or mentor can guide the student to greatness.

Sometimes, the development of a child is dramatically delayed. The student may never have developed the capacity to love, for example. He may truly believe that love is something we experience with pizza or ice cream. The Rebbe or mentor will encounter a formidable challenge in guiding a student to love a fellow student or to love Hashem if the child has simply never developed the capacity to love. Similarly, if a child was not nurtured in a trusting environment, they will have trouble processing ideas of trust in interpersonal or religious applications.

Moshe was a great believer in personal potential. On a personal level, Moshe ascended to the level of personal communication with Hashem. As a leader and as a mentor of the Jewish people he believed they could do it too. Yet, when the offer came, they cried to Moshe that they couldn’t do it. They felt they needed Moshe to be the conduit of Hashem’s Word. Of that moment Moshe declared, “You turned me into a woman,” meaning, “I thought you had already been imbued with the capacity to grow, to become great, and to believe in your potential. I thought that my task was to guide you to that greatness. But now I see you do not have confidence in yourselves. I feel like I have to start from the beginning. I need to be your mother; I need to give you the confidence that you can succeed.”

I recall at one time I started an advanced Mishnah Berurah shiur in a certain community. Although it was well advertised, and the people who came were very pleased with class, very few new people were willing to join.

One day when I invited a certain man to join, I got a phenomenal insight. When asked to join the class, he replied, “Listen Rabbi, its not that I am not committed. And it is not that I am not interested. I just can’t imagine that I would be able to understand the Mishnah Berurah plus the contemporary rulings of Rabbi Auerbach, Rabbi Elyashiv, and Rabbi Karelitz. You don’t really expect me to come to a class that I won’t understand?!”

Indeed, I didn’t want him to come to a class that he wouldn’t understand. But first I would have to play the symbolic role of mother, to nurture him with the confidence that he could succeed, and that he would be able to understand the class.

For parents it is important to nurture children in basic life skills and values. Love, trust, and confidence in personal potential are qualities that are prerequisites for success. For mentors it is necessary to realize that if a student is presented to us who does not yet have such a foundation, we must be willing to take a step back and provide the mother’s touch of encouragement and guidance that will make future success possible.

© 2015 by TEACH613™