by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

The Parsha begins by telling us that Moshe, at the end of his life, gathered the people to deliver rebuke. He listed their shortcomings one after another. He included the incident of the golden calf, the spies, Korach’s rebellion and more. Amazingly, the people took his words to heart and didn’t have hard feelings. What was Moshe’s secret in connecting with the people?

The commentaries explain that the key was in the timing and tone of the rebuke. Moshe had already proven himself as the trustworthy shepherd who truly cared for the people. Also, given at the end of his life his comments were not for self-serving convenience. The people sensed that Moshe’s comments were constructive and for their benefit. They were attentive to his message.

Jewish tradition teaches that if rebuke is administered correctly it brings peace and harmony. Often, the key is in knowing how to help another person grow. Interestingly, the Talmud quotes Rabbi Tarfon as saying, “I wonder if there is anyone in our generation who can receive rebuke.” To which the Talmud responds, “I wonder if there is anyone in our generation who knows how to administer rebuke.”

The lesson of Moshe is that if a leader, parent, or teacher gives rebuke, he should do so very carefully and out of love. The recipient should sense the constructive nature of the rebuke, and be thankful for its message.

The art of giving constructive criticism, is a talent that must be developed. The person giving the rebuke must truly love the recipient of the rebuke. Yet, for rebuke to bring peace and harmony, the person listening to the rebuke must also be a growing person. He or she must have a degree of maturity and self-confidence.

The Talmud relates that some great people did achieve this level. Rabbi Yochnan ben Nuri said, “Rabbi Akivah got into trouble many times because of my rebuke, but he just loved me all the more because of it.” How did the criticism result in a peaceful, loving relationship? What was Rabbi Akivah’s secret that enabled him to accept rebuke with joy?

Rabbi Akivah was able to love the person that rebuked him because he developed an attitude of wanting to improve. He knew his friend was rebuking him out of love. Rabbi Akivah lived his life with a quest for spiritual growth. In his mind, if you pointed out an area for improvement, you deserved a “Thank you.”

Once we understand Rabbi Akivah’s quest for spiritual growth, we can appreciate an amazing story about Rabbi Akivah. This story is most appropriate for this time of year as it deals with the Temple’s destruction.

The Talmud relates that a number of sages were walking in Jerusalem, and they beheld the ruins of the Temple. All the sages began to cry, with the exception of Rabbi Akivah. Rabbi Akivah began to laugh. What did the great Rabbi Akivah see in the Temple’s destruction that could cause him to laugh?

Let us take a moment to appreciate the Temple’s destruction. Commentaries illustrate the concept by comparing it to the scene of an elder statesman at a party gone out of control. He screams, he yells, but no one pays any attention. Finally, he grabs hold of an expensive vase and smashes it to bits. The sound of the impact gets people’s attention.

This is how Rabbi Akivah viewed the destruction of the Temple. G-d needed to get our attention. He tried with prophets, but we didn’t pay attention. He gave us warnings, but we didn’t heed them. It was like a party gone out of control. So He smashed the Temple. Boy, did He get our attention. We certainly cry at the loss. But Rabbi Akivah taught us that there is also room to smile. Because if the loss, and the implied rebuke, is the end, then there is indeed nothing more to do than cry. But if the loss is the beginning of cure and rejuvenation then the devastating blow is the start of something precious. One can look at the Temple ruins and say to G-d with a bit of a smile, “You screamed well. You got my attention.”

This Shabbos is called Shabbos Chazon- The Shabbos of Vision. As visionaries we don’t just see the loss that is before our eyes; we also see its implications. The Temple’s destruction represents G-d’s love for us. He needed to get our attention. Tishah B’Av, if observed properly as G-d’s meaningful rebuke to us, is the start of something special. What starts on Tishah B’Av with the destruction of the Temple, continues into Elul and the High Holidays as we try to get ourselves back on course. The season will culminate with Simchas Torah when we dance joyously to many meaningful tunes. One of my favorite has only three words which we simply repeat over and over. It is a song that acknowledges the difficult times in which we live since the Temple was destroyed. But it is also a song of hope, a song of yearning for salvation. It goes “Tzavey Yeshuos Yakov- Command the salvation of the Jewish people.” So may it be, speedily and in our time.

© by TEACH613™