Did You Ask?

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

The Jewish people were ready for one of the greatest transitions of all time. They were about to leave the miraculous existence in the desert and enter the Land of Israel. Soon, instead of manna from heaven, they would plant seeds and they would grow. Soon, the miraculous protective clouds would be removed and they would be protected by G-d’s watchful eye, but without an obvious miraculous manifestation.

To lead this transition 12 great men were chosen. They would spy out the land and report back. They would have to view the land through the lens of transition to the physical-miraculous way that G-d runs His world. Remarkably, only one of these men received a personal blessing from Moshe to succeed. Only Yehoshua got a blessing to be protected from false impressions and misguided conclusions. Why did Moshe only give a special blessing to Yehoshua?

I would like to suggest a simple answer. I would like to suggest that of all of these messengers only Yehoshua asked Moshe for a blessing.

Yehoshua was a person known for a specific quality. He was a devoted student of Moshe. Not only did he attend the classes, but he was the one who stayed extra time to make sure the study hall was properly arranged. As a result Yehoshua developed a special relationship with his Rebbe. When he would have a concern, he had a Rebbe to talk it over with. When he needed a blessing he was comfortable enough to ask for it.

I once heard a story of a family who was on vacation, and as they left a certain attraction, one of the children asked if he could have a few dollars to buy a souvenir. The mother told me that she agreed, and gave him a few dollars which he used to buy a memento. As they reached the car, her other children realized that only this one child got money for a memento, and they complained to her. “Why did you give him money, and not us?” The mother thought for a moment. Certainly she hadn’t intended to discriminate against her other children. Why indeed had she given money only to this child and not to the others, she wondered. And then she realized. She turned to the other children and replied, “I gave him money for the memento… because he asked. Had you asked I would have given you as well.”

The woman recounted the story to me, and asked if I thought she was right. I declined to comment on whether I endorse this particular parenting episode. But I do well acknowledge that life does indeed follow the model that she followed. Often, the only reason that one person gets an accommodation and another person doesn’t is because one person asked and the other did not.

We wonder why Moshe gave Yehoshua a special blessing for success and did not give a similar blessing to the others. The answer may very well be that Yehoshua had developed a relationship with his Rebbe, Moshe, such that he could walk over to him and share the concerns that he had about the assignment. Yehoshua had developed a relationship with Moshe, such that, in his time of need he was comfortable asking for a blessing. The avenue to achieve blessing was really open to all of the people involved, but only Yehoshua asked. By asking he was propelled to a much greater place because he obtained the blessing of his Rebbe.

In a very similar way we, in our time, have the opportunity to develop relationships with special people. By greeting them, spending time with them, and being devoted, we end up getting to know and to be known. Great people certainly wish goodness to all. But on a very personal level, if we have developed a relationship then we will be more comfortable sharing concerns, requesting advice, and asking for a blessing.

So let’s get practical. Picture the scene. The service or lecture is over. Officially all are dismissed. But there are some who stay on. They linger. They want to say “Yasher Koach” or “Good Shabbos” to the Rebbe. Or perhaps they linger because they are involved in setting up, cleaning up, or some of the myriad of other tasks that need to be done. As a result they are still around after many others have left. And it is then that a special relationship is forged with the Rebbe. The Rebbe notices them around. Sometimes he just greets them; sometimes he makes small talk and gets to know them better. He learns about their family, their challenges, and their talents. With time a devotional bond between Rebbe and student is forged. When the Rebbe needs something taken care of he asks this devoted student. When the student needs help he is comfortable asking his Rebbe.

Why do some people get blessed personally and others do not? It is really quite simple. The ones who get blessed personally, get blessed personally because they asked.

© 2015 by TEACH613™