The Key Whole

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

Moshe’s request was simple but profound. He wanted G-d to choose a person who was right for the job.

When Moshe was informed that his passing was imminent, he yearned that the person to replace him would be capable of leading the people properly. So he asked that his successor be a man “of spirits.”

Rashi explains that a man “of spirits” (plural) refers to the quality of understanding the needs and the mission of each individual. “You know that no two people are totally the same,” Moshe said. “Grant them a leader who can relate to each person properly.”

Indeed one of the greatest qualities in mentorship- be it parenting, teaching, or organizational leadership- is to understand the uniqueness of the individual. Often, the success of the disciple hinges on a mentor who appreciates the unique key that will bring about his or her success.

There is an insightful story told of a student who approached his mentor with the complaint that he had not yet found self-fulfillment or satisfaction. The mentor declared that indeed, he (the mentor) had not yet discovered the key to the student’s heart. Hearing this, the student exclaimed, “Forget the key. Use an ax if you must.” “No need,” the mentor replied, “Your heart just opened.”

While it is true that, sometimes, the student’s sheer motivation can open his or her heart, in most cases a successful mentor must guide the student to discover their “key” and mission. It is that discovery which will bring a sense of wholeness to the disciple.

Unfortunately, sometimes a mentor sees the disciple as an extension of themselves. A parent may see their child as the career fulfillment which they never had. Or, they may view the child as a clone of themselves, expecting them to follow in their footsteps. Correct mentorship is not intended as self-discovery for the mentor. It is intended as self-discovery for the disciple. As King Shlomo declared, “Educate each child according to his way.”

More often, a well-meaning mentor may simply misread the disciple. The child or student, although potentially loyal to proper ideals, may take a detour in life simply because the people they trust have misread the key that they need to make them whole.

The Talmud relates that in the times of King David, a certain Jew of great lineage took a job as a priest to idol worship. When people asked this man why he left normative Jewish observance for a job as a priest for idols, he replied that he was “just looking to make an honest living.” It seemed that this man had sold out his religious values because he needed a well-paying job.

While many ridiculed the man, King David, the blessed leader of the Jewish people, was able to see the essence of the man’s soul. The Talmud records, “David saw that this man loved money, so he appointed him as his personal treasurer.”

Had King David seen the man as evil, he certainly would not have hired him as his personal treasurer. Had he identified the man as one who personally needed to own lots of money even through illegal means, he would not have entrusted money into his hands. But King David was able to identify this man as essentially righteous. But the calling of his soul, the key to his fulfillment, was in the clinking of coins.

Instead of misreading the man as evil, King David was able to identify the man’s righteousness, and thereby save the man. When the man said that he took the idol job because he needed lots of money, the man was actually revealing that G-d had wired him for a unique mission that involved a fondness for money. In life, King David realized, most people would eventually get bored of counting coins and balancing accounts. But this man had been Divinely wired to have a craving for such a job. King David believed that the man’s need was a spiritual/mission based need which could be satisfied by creatively matching him with his life’s mission.

Moshe’s request and prayer was that Jewish leaders should be chosen by their ability to bring out the best in others. Whether as parents, teachers, or devoted friends, the art of true mentoring is not just to teach. It is to use our wisdom and life experience to discover the key that will bring out the best in the treasures that were entrusted to us. Leadership is to have faith in people’s intrinsic goodness, and to advise them and to guide them to the key that will make them whole.

© 2017 by TEACH613