“This is not normal…”

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

Ask a group of Jews, “What is your most meaningful day on the Jewish calendar?” and you are bound to get a variety of answers. Some will say “Yom Kippur”. After all it is the holiest day of the year. Others will say “Pesach”. That’s when we got started as a people. But for me, Tisha B’Av is most meaningful. Let me tell you why.

Tisha B’Av commemorates a fallout in the relationship between Hashem and His people. Until then, the Beis Hamikdash stood. The Beis Hamikdash was the love palace between the Jews and Hashem. It represented a closeness in relationship; it was where a Jew went to pray for special things. Eventually the relationship deteriorated, and the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed. But even after it was destroyed, we still focus on it, because we were promised that one day it would be restored to us.

Jewish scripture, and the commentaries which follow, refer to the fallout which we commemorate on Tisha B’Av in ways that make it clear that this is a temporary fallout. In Eicha we find Yerusholayim described as a Niddah, one who is temporarily distanced from intimacy. Likewise we find the expression of Agunah is applied, as we anxiously wait for our Beloved to reconcile with us. We are still attached; we know that one day we will again be one.

During the long exile in which we are in, we sometimes forget the noble relationship that will one day be restored. Instead we focus on the struggle of daily living challenges, and sometimes we forget the big historical picture. The commentaries describe this condition like a prince who was banished from the palace and therefore did the best he could to acclimate himself to the local conditions of the town in which he now lived. One day his father, the king, received a letter from the prince asking him to provide money for shoes, as his shoes were worn out. The king read the letter and wept. “Look how far my son has fallen,” he cried, “He is asking me, his father, the king, for a pair of shoes. Doesn’t he realize that instead of asking for one thing or two, he can ask to be restored to the palace, and I will provide for all his needs.” That is the power of Tisha B’Av. A meaningful Tisha B’Av is to realize that we are living in exile, and that is not normal. Tisha B’Av is a time that we can contemplate restoration, instead of just trying to solve one issue or another.

I once read a story of a Rabbi who found that he was blessed with unusual perception into people and their needs. In an effort to help people he allocated specific times in which he would be available to talk with people and provide advice. One week he was visited by a man who was recently divorced and described the difficult life that he now had. Later in the week he was visited by a woman who described her very difficult situation as a recently divorced woman. From her description of the details it became clear to the Rabbi that she must have been the former wife of the man who came to him earlier in the week.

The Rabbi made a request, that the man and the woman come together to speak with him. When they were seated before him he said, “I guess by now you realize that you both came separately to me for advice on dealing with your difficult situation. You are both mourning the broken relationship, and you are both wondering how to properly care for the children. I do not know the reasons that you divorced, but you both strike me as very good and sincere people. I suggest that you try… that you try to get beyond whatever it is that broke you up… that you consider rebuilding your relationship… reconciliation… and that you get married to one another again.”

The Rebbe of Koznitz writes that this time period preceding Tisha B’Av is one of the easiest times to approach and connect with Hashem. Usually Hashem is in his “palace”, and you need a special appointment to get access to the inner chambers. (That is the gift described on Yom Kippur, when we are allowed a closer relationship, until Neilah, when the gates are closed.) During the season of Tisha B’Av Hashem wanders outside His “palace” lamenting the loss of the relationship that He once had with us, and wishing that He could rebuild the Beis Hamikdash. It is a time when He craves someone who will facilitate reconciliation. It is a time that He hopes we will realize that the lives we live, and the challenges we face, are not normal.

No, it is not normal that the Jewish people have to justify defending themselves.

No, it is not normal that countries who claim to be civilized should be troubled for days that rockets fall on the Land of Israel and Jews aren’t getting killed. “It is unfair,” they claim, as if the war with Hamas is a basketball game, of which they – from the comfort of their homes- are keeping score of the dead.

No, it is not normal that Israel should be asked to be more tolerant as they need to demolish tunnels, destroy rocket launchers, and kill terrorist fighters in a region that was created with promises of peace. Perhaps some diplomats would like to take a shower in Sederot, a city where children are afraid to go into a shower, because they know that when rockets are fired at them, they will have only seconds of warning to scurry into the safety of the bomb shelters.

So we do our best under the circumstances. We observe “ordinary people” emerge as heroes through acts of courage and bravery. We watch righteous people throughout the world recognize that supporting Israel is about supporting good against evil, and that terrorist fighters who dress as civilians aren’t as innocent as they look.

It is said that Napoleon was once walking outside on Tish B’Av night and witnessed the Jews sitting on the floor in mourning. In wonderment he asked his aide, “What’s that?” His aide explained that the Jews were mourning the anniversary of the day the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed some 1700 years ago. Napoleon is said to have replied, “A people that mourns its past has a future.”

We don’t need Napoleon to set us straight, but his comment is truer than he realized. The world we live in is not normal. We mourn for and pray for a time of peace and prosperity. We yearn for a time when the convoluted Hamas aberration of glorifying death and tragedy will be silenced. We yearn for a time when our relationship with Hashem will be restored, and we will experience peace and closeness with Him. Yes, to me the Tisha B’Av season is very comforting. It reminds me that this is not normal.

© 2014, by TEACH613™