by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

The daughters of Tzelafchad were getting on in their years. All five women were remarkably righteous, but not yet married. Somehow they were not able to find suitable husbands.

But when they approached Moshe for help they had something else in mind. Their father passed away in the desert, leaving no sons behind. Normally the Land would be split among the sons. Their request was that since there were no sons, his portion in the Land should go to them, his daughters.

Moshe posed the question to G-d and relayed the response. The daughters of Tzelafchad were to be given the portion of their father in the Land, but they were obligated to choose husbands from their father’s tribe. In this way, the inheritance that was given to them would not be removed from their father’s tribe when they get married.

Remarkably, as soon as these women were told that they must choose husbands from a specific tribe, they immediately found husbands and got married. All five- who had such a hard time finding husbands- manage to find soul mates! Mazal Tov! But it gives us much to think about. Why suddenly, when G-d placed this massive constraint upon them limiting them to the men of only one out of twelve tribes, did things suddenly work out.

The Torah is teaching us a powerful lesson about mitzvos. Mitzvos don’t constrain, they guide. By telling these righteous women that their soul mates were not to be found among the other tribes, G-d narrowed their search and helped them fulfill their destiny.  The fact that they had no other options made it possible for them to discover what G-d wanted of them.

A number of years ago in England, a young man got engaged to the woman of his choice. At the engagement party the grandfather was making small talk with the relatives and he found out that the woman had been previously married and divorced. Normally there would be no issue, but the grandfather knew that as a family of kohanim, the young man was not permitted to marry a woman who had been divorced. The grandfather approached his grandson and pleaded with him to seek the counsel of a Rabbi to discuss the challenge that was before him.

The young man and woman were shaken by the information. With time they did their research and were convinced that there was indeed a religious problem with their getting married. They approached a Rabbi for guidance as to how to handle the situation.

The Rabbi listened closely to their story and to their research. He then said. “You know, every young couple who gets married is convinced that they are meant for each other. Normally we assume that to be correct. They get married and have a blessed life together. But occasionally G-d, in his kindness, informs us that the union is not a good one. As much as you love and respect one another, only G-d can see ten and twenty years into the future. To be told that a union is forbidden is not constraining; it is guiding. G-d is telling you that although you seem to get along, the union does not have His blessing.”

 

Sometimes knowing that “it is not a valid option” spells salvation in clarifying which legitimate options are open to us.

During the Israeli War of Independence there was a city under siege, surrounded by a significant number of enemy troops. The defenders thought that they would be overrun shortly, and in desperation they radioed Central Command for assistance. At first there was no response to their request, as there were so many similar areas pleading for reinforcements. Eventually, however, a message was radioed to them. It went, “Alef Bais; Alef Bais.”

The defenders understood the message. “Alef Bais,” was code for “Ain Bireira- there is no choice.” There are no other options. There are no reinforcements to be had. We have no choice but to do our best.

The Arab commander who intercepted the message, however, thought that “Alef Bais” stood for Atom Bomb, and he promptly withdrew his troops.

The code “Alef Bais” has a different meaning to every person. Through it a person finds salvation and fulfillment. A person is defined by that which causes him to say, “That is simply not an option.”

During the holocaust there was a girl in a labor / death camp who was assigned to peel potatoes for the Nazi officer’s meals. Realizing that the peels could be a lifesaver for her sisters in the labor camp, she would regularly smuggle the potato peels out to the Jewish barracks, instead of discarding them. All went well until someone informed on her.

She was in her barracks waking up in the morning when the news was whispered to her that the Nazis had been informed of her deed. She trembled as she walked out to roll call, knowing that she would be pulled from the line and punished. “But what would the punishment be? she wondered. When she saw a horse lined up in front, waiting, she knew. The Nazis would tie the accused to the back of a horse and gallop through the camp. If the accused survived the ordeal they would allow her to live. The young woman asked for some pins. “Pins?” her friends asked her. “Yes, pins,” the courageous girl repeated.

Realizing what would happen to her, she asked her friends to help her pin her dress to her skin, “So that during the ordeal my dress shouldn’t slide in a way that does not befit a Jewish girl.”  Her friends helped her through the painful process of affixing the pins to protect her from that which to her was “simply not an option.”

To read “Alef Bais” is a skill that we all acquire. But to really understand “Alef Bais” is a skill that takes a lifetime. What is it that for you is simply not an option? Let that awareness guide you to the fulfillment of your destiny.

With best wishes for a wonderful Shabbos.

© 2014 by TEACH613