Pregnant with Goodness

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

The Tochacha, or rebuke, is one of the hardest sections of the Torah to read. Even the Baal Koreh, with a normally proud and strong voice, suddenly sounds strained and weak as he reads about the exile and the ensuing tragedies. But among the worst, is the statement, “and you will not have faith in yourselves.” Ultimately, it is the faith that we can pick ourselves up to a better future that carries us. When one loses faith in oneself, G-d forbid, all can be lost.

We find, for example, that on a national level, Jews after the destruction of the first Beis Hamikdash came to the prophet Yechezkel (Chapter 20), and said, “We give up.” The essence of the response to them is found in Shema, which we recite every day. “You will be exiled from the good land… [yet] you shall place these words on yourselves as Teffilin, and on your doorposts [as mezuzos].” Even though you have fallen, there is still so much good that you can and must do.

Sometimes in life, the individual as well, can feel that they’ve lost their bearings. Elul, the preparatory month before Rosh Hashana, calls out to us and says, “No matter what you are up to, take a step closer to Hashem- even a little step- and you will regain control over your life.”

I recall that when I was in yeshiva high school one of the Rabbis would encourage us to make a small resolution before Rosh Hashana. “Take one little area that you think you can improve,” he would say. I wondered at the time, “What difference does it make if I make a small resolution? How big an impact can a small resolution make, after all?” Yet, the years have flown by, and from personal experience, and from my experience in counseling others, I can affirm that small resolutions can make all the difference.

“How does it work?” you wonder. It is really quite simple.

You see, the Yetzer Horah (evil inclination) roves around looking for a shidduch (a good match) whom he can control for evil. First he dates casually; then he gets serious. Eventually he manages to get many people into a full blown serious relationship with him. There is just one thing that will really get rid of the Yetzer Horah and all of his shadchanus (matchmaking) plans…

Imagine a Shadchan would come to a young man and propose a shidduch. “She is really a very special girl,” the Shadchan says. “She has all the good qualities you can ask for,” he continues. “She’s talented; she’s a great cook; she has a great job, and is from a great family. There is only one thing: She’s a little bit pregnant. So maybe you should rush into it right away before she starts showing…”

That’s how the Yetzer Horah feels when he is offered a shidduch with us. For his purposes, he is thrilled if we are a bit depressed, in a rut, and have a sinking feeling about us. Yet, if we choose to do a mitzvah, if we make even the smallest resolve to be better, then suddenly he looks at us very differently. “Where there is one mitzvah you can be sure that another will be soon coming,” he exclaims. The Yetzer Horah no longer sees this as such a good shidduch for him. “This person is pregnant with goodness. It is only a matter of time before this develops into full blown goodness.” And so the Yetzer Horah becomes uncomfortable and takes his wares elsewhere.

That is why we look for a little good deed that we can commit ourselves to… even if it isn’t so dramatic. One Jew I know decided that he would say the first blessing of Birchas Hamazon with word by word concentration, but only when he was at home. A woman I know accepted to be extra careful about Lashon Horah, on Tuesdays, when she was on the phone. Small steps they are, but they are steps in the right direction. And they make the Yetzer Horah very uncomfortable with doing a shidduch with you for evil, because you have become pregnant with goodness.

That is what is meant in the prayer of Kaparos which is recited on Erev Yom Kippur. “There may be only one good deed proclaiming his righteousness, from among one thousand deeds. Nevertheless, he finds grace…” Because a Jew who is pregnant with one good deed will regain faith in himself. And a Jew who has regained faith in himself is surely on the path to goodness.

© 2014 by TEACH613™