First Things First

The Jewish farmer was really glad. His trees had blossomed beautifully this year, and now a record crop of fruit was ready to be harvested. It was a busy time. But high on his “to do” list was to go to Yerusholayim and fulfill the special mitzvah of Bikurim. He came to the Beis Hamikdash and before the Kohein he declared, “I am grateful for all the good that Hashem has done for me.”

Interestingly, one of the criteria of this mitzvah is that it is done while presenting a basket of the first fruits. It is not enough to lackadaisically show up with some fruit at some time in the season to say “Thank You.” Bikurim was done with the first fruits. Before the farmer got involved with all of his other concerns, it was necessary for him to say “Thank You.”

Similarly, whenever we eat food, we recite a Bracha before we do so. It is not enough to somewhere along the line make sure to express thanks. First things first. In effect we say, “Without your blessing Hashem, I have nothing, and am nothing. Thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

In the world of business and relationships it is known that a person can be more effective if they give a compliment or express appreciation before going on to the request or the critique. In fact, the recommended rule is 2:1; two compliments or pleasantries should precede the other conversation. First things first is a style that works. If you affirm your relationship and appreciation first then the communication that follows will be far more effective.

In a more advanced sense though, it is wise to give compliments even if there is no intent to critique. It is a good way to start; a good way to nurture a relationship. I recall vividly one of those great educational moments of my childhood when I entered a new yeshiva and things were going well. The teachers clearly cared; the administration operated with integrity. After a week of school my father called up the Rosh Yeshiva to say “Thank You.” He gave the Rosh Yeshiva two compliments about the Yeshiva, and then wished him a good year, and hung up. I later heard that it was considered one of the most astounding phone calls the Rosh Yeshiva had ever gotten. “Two compliments, and no complaints?!” the Rosh Yeshiva later exclaimed incredulously.

As we enter the final week of the Jewish year let us consider people in our lives to whom we can express appreciation. First things first. Before we busy ourselves asking for a wonderful new year, let us show Hashem and the people around us that we appreciate the blessings that we already have. Whether people who are “above us” in hierarchy or those “below us” so many people in our lives truly make a difference.

First things first, and may the blessings of a wonderful new year be sure to follow.

© 2015 by TEACH613™