Planting with Tears

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

Certain phrases in Jewish Scripture are associated with particular connotations in the collective Jewish memory. One example is the word “Eicha.” From the word “Ayecha”– said to Adam after the first sin, when G-d asked him, “Where are you? What is going to be with you?” –to the word “Eicha” which the prophet Yirmiya used to begin the book of Lamentations which the Jewish king Yehoyakim burned because he didn’t want to hear the rebuke of the prophet– the word “Eicha” is associated with negative consequences.

Until this week’s Parsha.

In this week’s portion we read that the Jewish people will declare the question, “Eicha: How will we manage to conquer the enemy.” G-d replies, “Do not worry. All will be well.” It sounds so easy. Still, the word “Eicha” is so deeply associated with fear and worry. How does one manage to achieve the response to “Eicha” that is found in this week’s Parsha, the declaration that all will be well?

There is a well-known passage in the Talmud (Rosh Hashana 16) that states: “Any year that starts in poverty, shall end in wealth.” The commentaries explain that if there is a sense of poverty as the year begins then we pray well for a good year because we feel desperate. When channeled properly, a healthy concern for that which is important to us can produce great blessing.

Similarly, the word “Eicha” implies that a difficult situation is developing. It is up to us to formulate our response. Do we feel inadequate, as Adam did when he responded, “I heard Your voice, but I feared because I am inadequate, so I hid.”? Do we hear “Eicha” and burn it, as Yehoyakim did, because we don’t want to hear its message? Or, do we hear the “Eicha” challenge and mobilize, putting our best foot forward to ultimately be blessed with the words, “Do not fear. All will be well.”

Every person has “Eicha”s in their life. The Tamud is telling us: Don’t burn your “Eicha”s. Think about them. Consider them. Pray regarding them. A year that begins with concern is a year which will produce blessing.

A number of years ago I had the privilege of officiating at  the wedding of a scholarly young man, whose parents were unaffiliated. Just before the ceremony, I stood with the groom in a private room preparing him for the momentous occasion. He spent a few moments in deep prayer that his marriage should be a successful one. He donned the traditional kittel, and we placed a small amount of ash upon his head to remember the ruins of Jerusalem.  All was well, until I noticed from the corner of my eye that the groom’s mother was becoming noticeably concerned about the state of mind her son was in. Her son was getting married. Shouldn’t he be happy? Why was he taking these observances so seriously?

I excused myself from the groom for a moment, and called his mother aside. I said, “You are probably concerned that your son is so serious right now. That is normal. He is getting married and is praying for success. Just give us a half hour. When you see his smile after the ceremony you will understand.”

That is the meaning of the verse in Tehillim (126:5) which says, “Those who plant with tears shall harvest with joy.” A healthy concern when starting off a new chapter in life is precisely the formula which ensures success. As one master teacher of public speaking expressed it: I come not to take away the butterflies in your stomach. I come to help you get the butterflies to fly in a constructive formation.

As we are now less than six weeks from Rosh Hashana it is worthwhile for us to use these weeks wisely, to identify our concerns and to formulate a strategy which will change the “Eicha”s of our lives into blessing.

We all have concerns. We are just ready to start a new school year. Will the children succeed? How will they interact with their peers…with their teachers?

As we approach the new year and the Day of Judgment, what will the ruling be about our health and that of our loved ones? Will we be blessed with a year of financial serenity?

Many people are tempted to burn the “Eicha”s of their lives (or at least to put them on the “back burner”). This is not because people are wicked, but simply because we sometimes feel helpless. What the Torah is teaching us is that there is a law of opposite results. A person who allows himself to have a healthy amount of concern is a person who prays well and achieves a year of blessing.

In just a few weeks Jews throughout the world will gather to recite the final prayer of the High Holiday season, the prayer of Neilah. Anyone who achieves a moment of sincere prayer- even then- is accepted. When the final sound of the shofar is heard at the end of Yom Kippur it signifies that finally the “train” has left. But until that moment, even as the train is pulling out, one can still jump on and be a part of this glorious time.

But although it is possible to board the train at the last minute, the wise person seeks to board as early as possible. That way you can choose your seat and make yourself comfortable. You can think about your concerns; contemplate your needs. You can plan for the upcoming meeting properly so that you know in advance what you would like to pray for. This way, when the Conductor comes around and asks, “What can I do for you?” you will have a ready answer.

With best wishes for a wonderful Shabbos.