Can you taste the Afikoman?

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

THAT time of year is finally upon us. The time when the children come home from school with all the projects for the Pesach Seder. I, with parents throughout the world, look on with a mixture of pride and confusion. Pride that the children know so much about the plagues, the redemption, and the mission. But, a sense of confusion exists as well, because if they know so much about everything, then what will be left for me to teach at the Seder? And, so, I begin to wonder, with all these young scholars around me, what is my role at the Seder?

One of the most fascinating aspects of the Seder is that, although the Torah prescribes a response for the questioning child, the Hagadah proposes a different response entirely. The Torah in ParshasV’Eschanan tells us, “When your child asks about the mitzvos, you shall tell him that we were slaves to Pharoh, and Hashem redeemed us in a wondrous way.” But, in the Hagadah, we find that the wise son tries to engage us in conversation regarding the mitzvos, and we are told to teach the law that “You may not eat a dessert after the Pesach Seder.” Why do we respond to the wise son with the law of “desserts” rather than the traditional response of the miraculous exodus?

Perhaps the Torah is telling us what the father’s ideal role is, what he should make sure his child knows, but the Hagadah in describing how to handle the wise child of our generation. Truly, the children come home already knowing the story. There is questionable value and effectiveness in trying to outdo the children in their knowledge about the miracles. But, there is one thing that I can contribute to the Seder which they cannot. That is my life experience. The children, still young and starting out in life, can repeat quite well all that they have been taught. But, it is the parent who can say with confidence that the values described by the Seder are the values that they would do well to incorporate in their lives. “Might does not make right,” is something that is illustrated by Pharoh’s oppression and his ultimate defeat. “Reach out to help the downtrodden,” is something that we learn from Moshe’s behavior, and is what eventually catapulted him to an eternal legacy. And, that the Jewish people can survive all, if they keep focus on their mission, is a miraculous experience which we relive in every generation.

No, in many homes the parents have nothing book-wise to teach their well-educated children. But, there is something monumental that we parents can teach. “There are no desserts after the Pesach Seder.” In other words, in the world of right and wrong, and in the world of real life priorities, the Pesach Seder has the last word. No candy, fruit, or tantalizing treat can undo the truths expressed in the sacred Hagadah. “If you will savor the taste of the Afikoman,” we tell our children, “If you will view those miracles not just as stories of the past but as guiding lights for your priorities in life, then you will be fortunate to lead a blessed life. Realize that Pharoh’s power and glory are fleeting at best.” Be inspired from the Jewish people and from their leader Moshe and you will be fortunate to live a life that will have legacy for all eternity.

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