The Mother of all Coaches
by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine
The Torah relates how, as Yakov returned to the Land of Israel, “Devorah, the nanny of Rivkah, died,” and she was buried there.
This simple verse presents a significant question. What was Devorah, the nanny of Rivkah, doing entering the Land of Israel together with Yakov? The last we heard of Rivkah’s nanny was when Eliezer brought Rivkah as a wife for Yitzchak. The verse states, “They sent Rivkah and her nanny.” (24:59) If Devorah was already in the Land of Israel, one would not expect her to be entering with Yakov. How does she come to be travelling with Yakov into The Land, if she was already there?
The commentaries suggest that this “nanny Devorah,” which the Torah mentions, was no ordinary nanny. In fact, she was the private mentor of Rivkah, the personal coach that raised her to be a worthy wife of Yitzchak, and daughter in law of Avraham.
You see, outside of Avraham and his circle of students, the world of his time was a world of idolatry, a free thinking and lawless world. How exactly did Rivkah choose, even as a child, to pursue the path of morality?
The credit for Rivkah’s upbringing goes largely to her nanny, because that is the person who often has the most influence on a child’s future.
Imagine, for example, if Rivkah had been insulted one day for being related to the well known and detested Avraham, the preacher of monotheism. Imagine how she would have felt if her friends had referred to her relative, the benevolent Avraham, as nothing more than a “sucker,” giving free food out to the poor. She probably would have come home crying, wondering about things like kindness, charity, and the legacy of Avraham.
It was her nanny, Devorah, who would have wiped away her tears and told her that Avraham was a hero. “There is a Creator, a G-d, who cares about us and about what we do,” Devorah would tell her. “Might does not make right.” Instead, “Man is expected to be kind and benevolent to his fellow,” Devorah would say. It was because of this wise nanny, Devorah, that Rivkah was raised in a way that was compatible with Avraham’s legacy. When the time came, she was ready to become the celebrated wife of Yitzchak. When she left her parent’s home she took her beloved nanny, Devorah, with her.
Devorah was Rivkah’s coach. She was her sounding board, her catalyst for growth, her mentor. It is to Devorah’s credit that Rivkah became the great person that she was.
Rabbi Yisroel Miller suggests that after Devorah joined Rivkah in the Land of Israel, Rivkah sent Devorah back to her birthplace, to raise the next generation of matriarchs for the Jewish people. And so, Devorah, the experienced nanny, went back and became the mentor for Rochel, Leah, Bilha, and Zilpah, women who were destined to be the mothers of the tribes of Israel. When her new charges got married to Yakov and headed to the Land of Israel, Devorah went with them, heading to The Land for the second time.
Devorah, the nanny, is not just the “mother” of all coaches, she is also the coach of the mothers. To her credit is the mentorship of five out of six mothers of the Jewish people. Quite understandably, the Torah mentions her passing with distinction: And they called the place a place of weeping.
Each of us, in our own lives, has the capacity to emulate Devorah, to be a coach and a catalyst for greatness for those around us. To our friends, parents, children, and neighbors, we can share the attitude of Devorah. “Avraham is a hero. Torah and kindness are for winners.”
© 2014, by TEACH613™
If Devorah’s home originally was where Avraham’s father lived, where did Devorah learn to think the way she did?
RMR: I suggest that she, or her parents, were students of Avraham and Sara and were touched by their teachings. They were the congregants that Avraham and Sara left behind when they departed for the promised land.