Charting the Direction of the Successful Jewish Home

Part One, Sugya Series

 

Power of Speech

 

1. Accustom yourself to speak softly, to everyone, at all times, and thereby you will be saved from anger. (Ramban)

 

2. The sin of improper speech is most serious. A person’s task in this world is to be mute, to purse his lips together in silence. Until your dying day you must undergo pain and trial. I don’t refer to fasting. I refer to control of speech. Every moment that a person remains quiet he gains merit of the hidden Light, that even angels cannot comprehend. (Gaon of Vilna)

 

3. Do not let our daughter spend time in gathering places. It is better to pray at home than in the synagogue because in the synagogue they will be exposed to jealousy and Lashon Horah. (Gaon of Vilna)

 

Prayer

 

4. Remove all thoughts from your mind when you pray. Think before you talk. Your speech, action and thought will be straight, and your prayer will be pure and accepted by Hashem. (Ramban)

 

5. The prayers of father and mother should be constant for their children to be people who are knowledgeable in Torah, righteous, and with good character. Parents should pay special attention when they recite the words, “so that we shall not toil in vain”. (Chofetz Chayim, Mishnah Berurah 47:10)

 

Torah Study

 

6. When you arise from studying, think about what you learned, and what you can implement. In this way all your days will be used constructively to come closer to Hashem. (Ramban)

 

7. I have left you Jewish texts in the vernacular. For G-d’s sake! Everyone should study Torah every day. (Gaon of Vilna)

 

Relationships

 

8. Do not be jealous of wealth. People will cry tomorrow over what brought them laughter today.

Do not be jealous of honor. It is merely an illusion.

If you try to satisfy yourself it will be like drinking salty water, you think you will be satiated but you walk away more thirsty. (Gaon of Vilna)

 

9. You shall consider all people greater than yourself. If he is wise or wealthy you should honor him. If you are wiser or more wealthy than he is, then realize that you are more obligated than he is. If he has shortcomings, he is mistaken, but you are responsible. (Ramban)

 

10. The children must honor you, my mother, and all those who are older than them. (Gaon of Vilna)

 

Allocation of Money

 

11. For G-d’s sake! Give 20 percent charity as I have commanded you. (Gaon of Vilna)

 

12. Hire a teacher for the children, and don’t be stingy with his pay. Your income is predetermined, but it does not include what you spend for your children’s Torah education. (Gaon of Vilna)

 

13. Don’t plan to leave a great inheritance for the children, because each person is born with their own Mazal and with Hashem’s intervention. Woe to people who are so concerned to leave things to their children. The only things of value that the children can get from you are your Torah and good deeds. (Gaon of Vilna)

 

Shabbos

 

14. Honor Shabbos without restraint. Your income is predetermined, but it does not include what you spend to honor Shabbos. (Gaon of Vilna)

 

15. Remember the day of Shabbos all week. Take care to organize your work so that you can effectively forget it when Shabbos comes. (Seforno, Shimos 20:8)