Jewish Conversion

by Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

If I were to ask you, “What was the most inspirational religious experience you have ever had?” you might respond with recollections of Kol Nidrei, or the Pesach Seder of your youth. Perhaps you would recall the experience of prayer you had in an emotionally laden moment, or the feeling you had being close to G-d when you visited the Kotel for the first time. For me, one of the most inspirational experiences is being a part of a person’s conversion to Judaism.

You see, many years ago, in a place called Sinai, the Jewish family gathered to become a nation. Until that point the Jewish family shared a biological connection, as well as many ideals, wisdom, and a culture. But at that moment, when they accepted the Torah, the Jewish people became more than a family. They became a nation.

Jewish tradition teaches that G-d offered the Torah to all the nations of the world, but they declined. Each nation found that the laws of the Torah didn’t match the lifestyle that they wished to live. Some did not like the rules against theft, others did not like the laws of Kosher, Shabbat, morality, or murder. What enabled the Jewish family to accept the Torah? They understood that the Torah would impose and make demands on them. They understood that Torah would demand greatness. They understood that Torah would require that they do things that they did not want to do and refrain from things that they wished they could do. Out of love for G-d, out of a desire for truth, and out of a desire to become spiritually great and in touch with their souls, they accepted the Torah, and, as one, they became a nation.

Jewish tradition teaches that although the nations of the world, as a whole, declined to accept the Torah, there were individuals of the nations whose souls yearned to say “Yes.” Perhaps they even answered “Yes” when G-d offered the Torah, but their response was drowned out by the collective response of their respective nations. These individual souls would be given the opportunity during the course of time to join the Jewish nation by choice. This is the essence of Jewish conversion.

The Rambam (Maimonides) writes, “Just as the Jews became a nation in Biblical times…so it is for generations. When a non-Jew wants to become Jewish and accepts the Mitzvos… in front of the Beis Din…” he or she becomes part of the Jewish nation.

Jewish conversion is a reenactment of the Sinai experience. Through this process of conversion, we can usher into the Jewish nation those who come by choice to accept the Torah.

Jewish conversion is momentous. It is often the culmination of years of searching and studying. Like Avraham, the first “Jew,” it often comes after quite a bit of experimenting with different religious options. When a person reaches this point in their personal journey it is just plain awesome.

On a practical level, a Beis Din in our time will strive to act responsibly both to the candidate and to the Jewish nation which the candidate wishes to join. The Beis Din will require that the candidate has a sponsoring Rabbinic couple who can mentor the candidate and model what Judaism is in real life experience. Likewise, we typically require that the candidate be part of a Jewish community and has integrated well, so that the prognosis is that of success. We will often be quite cautious regarding candidates who are in a particular emotional swing or have not settled down. Likewise, we will be quite cautious regarding a candidate who has much book knowledge but has not yet integrated into a Jewish community. The weight of Jewish conversion rests upon all those involved that the decision to become Jewish is authentic and is a decision that is indeed responsible and lasting.

The actual conversion takes place at a Mikva where the candidate is dressed in a particular type of robe, made of material that is not clingy, and will allow the Mikva water to make contact with the body. After exchanging pleasantries, the head of the Beis Din will begin asking the questions that define the acceptance of Mitzvos. The candidates’ affirmative responses are the modern-day equivalent of that great “Yes” that we responded as a nation as we stood at Sinai so many years ago.

Sometimes, the candidate will get choked up with emotion, or find themselves crying tears of joy and success, having been able to reach this noble and authentic milestone. They may be responding to the Beis Din’s questions, but at the same time they are communicating with G-d, accepting the Torah as the Jewish people did many years ago.

The story is told of a woman who crafted a beautiful cover for a Torah scroll. She brought it to the synagogue and was hoping to be greeted with great fanfare. She was greeted pleasantly, and the cover she crafted with such dedication and good will was tried. But it didn’t fit the Torah scroll. Unfortunately, the cover she made was just a bit too small. As the story goes, the woman in her disappointment exclaimed, “Then cut the Torah a bit and it will fit.”

To the awesome credit of the candidate there were times along the journey that the Beis Din gave feedback advising them to work more on certain areas to attain appropriate knowledge and proficiency, and they listened. He or she took the guidance to heart, studied, and practiced, until they were ready for another meeting.

When a candidate does reach the “finish line” it is like the expression we use by a wedding: “This is not an end; this is just a beginning.” For a man who has converted, he will often ask to be directed to the nearest synagogue so that he can put on Teffilin for the first time. For a woman who has converted, she will often be embraced by her friends and mentors with the joy appropriate for a Kallah. Joyous cries of “Mazal Tov!” emanate from all, as she follows in the footsteps of Rus, matriarch of royalty.

Experiencing a Jewish conversion may be the closest I can get to experiencing Sinai in my lifetime. It is the wondrous moment when a human being expresses infinite trust in G-d and the system of Judaism, to join without conditions and without rewriting the script. It is a moment of infinite joy in heaven and on earth. It is an honor and a trust to be a part of. It is truly a religiously inspirational moment.

With best wishes for a wonderful Shabbos!

Rabbi Mordechai Rhine is a certified mediator and coach with Rabbinic experience of over 20 years. Based in Maryland, he provides services internationally via Zoom. He is the Director of TEACH613: Building Torah Communities, One Family at a Time, and the founder of CARE Mediation, a family mediation practice focused on marriage, divorce, parenting, and personal coaching.

Rabbi Rhine can be reached through his websites at www.care-mediation.com and www.teach613.org or by email at RMRhine@gmail.com

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